Well I decided that I would start volunteering a few hours a day in my dad’s lab, mainly to get out of the house for awhile. It’s only Tuesday and I’m already looking forward to the weekend again. Why, you might ask? The overall atmosphere of where I use to work really hasn’t changed; but a few weeks away and now going back I can see exactly how mentally draining the job was. I love research, don’t get me wrong there; I also love what I’m volunteering to do (it’s a project that I’d been trying to finish up before the end of summer; and now I just might be able to)–I just don’t care for the overall disheartening atmosphere of the department anymore.
I’d been doing pretty good for the past couple of weeks of making sure that I at least get about 60oz of water in (the past two days its barely been hitting 50oz). I’ve got tension headaches again–to the degree that I had a few months ago. I’d also been good about making sure that I at least got 80-90% of my steps in (if not 100%, plus another workout)–last two days–nope; once I got home I basically sat out in the backyard trying to find my mental center again. My jaw is slightly sore from gritting my teeth (mainly in hopes that I don’t have to cross paths with that particular individual).
I’m hoping that maybe once I find an additional lab (that is in a different department) to also start volunteering in, some of the bad vibes will disappear since I won’t be in the same area quite so much. I know that additional skills are needed to be able to get into industry (which is why I need to start working on the e-course bundles that I just bought as well–but those are another blog post to come).
It is starting to look like a move is more than necessary for both my mental and physical health; it is also necessary for the job–will that job still be in science; will it be due to me starting school for yet another advanced degree (MS/MBA/???); that is part of the adventure.
We all need to remember that we are living our own “choose your own adventures” (remember those books–or have I just aged myself?). I’ve realized that I’ve picked fairly safe adventures since the end of high school (stayed in the same town for college [both undergrad & grad; though I did apply to some other programs out of state for grad]; and came back when the first job ended to try to recover financially (instead of trying to find another job in the city where I was living). Now it is the time for me to look at the slightly more riskier adventures and decided which one will hopefully work out. While you can live a full life on with safe adventures–I’ve realized that person isn’t me any longer. I’m finding it harder to stay civil with people that I don’t like and lets not even get into the politics in this country right now.
But let us remember that there is beauty all around us. We just need to open our eyes and our hearts to see it. Tomorrow take a look around you and notice something beautiful–maybe it is a butterfly flying by; or the color of a flower. Beauty and love are there for all. Let us start seeing it daily and maybe, just maybe we can start to heal the wounds of the planet.