Well we’re a little over halfway through July already. The moon is moving into Capricorn today (or maybe it was yesterday or tomorrow for you). I’ve realized that while I can make lists—trying to make the master list is one of the things that almost put me into an anxiety attack. So, I’m going to try to do one this weekend—but I will call it a brain dump (and see how I emotionally process that).

So, since it is the eve of the full moon, one can look at “Moonology: working with the magic of lunar cycles” by Yasmin Boland and find a series of questions that you can ask yourself during this time:

Have I been ambitious to the point of ruthlessness?

Have I been obsessed with work to the detriment of my personal life?

Have I been hard-headed, hard-nosed, or just too hard on others?

Have I allowed my head to overrule my heart?

Have I been planning my life enough? Or too much?

So if I were to answer the above questions (again, numbering them 1-5), I think my answers would be as following:

  1. No, I don’t think that I’ve been ambitious to the point of ruthlessness. I’m pretty sure that people will tell you that I’m not ambitious enough, and that I currently go with the flow. I know that to make it in industry (at least move up the ladder or between companies, and to have good mentors), I need to become a little more ambitious that what I currently am. I also know that currently I’m not in a good mental space to really care of how ambitious (or not) others perceive me to be—there are too many other problems in the world, and I don’t rate this very high on that list.
  2. I don’t think I’ve been obsessed with work to the detriment of my personal life. That is one nice thing about having to clock my forty hours—even if I wanted to go over on the weekends—it probably wouldn’t be approved, therefore why bother. I will also be the first to admit that I really don’t have much of a life (I feel like I’m currently in the middle of a midlife crisis, with trying to figure out what the next career stage is going to be). Currently in terms of my personal life—I’m my own worse enemy here.
  3. No, I don’t think I’ve been hard on others. I really don’t interact with that many people in my current position, and I’m also the bottom of the totem pole in terms of hierarchy within my little unit anyway.
  4. Yes, I have let my head overrule my heart—while I really want to adopt a puppy, I’ve realized that I should wait until I either have moved (or am closer to moving), so that the puppy will be more or less totally raised in an apartment. I feel like it would be easier than having one that is used to the yard, and then having to all of a sudden be satisfied with two or three walks a day on a leash.
  5. Here, I actually think that I haven’t been planning my life enough. I’ve always been more to go with the current or flow and not try to battle my way upstream. This however has resulted in me taking several different positions that I probably should have passed on. I’m now trying to plan my life a little more—but going back to question 1, I have to try to do it in a way that it doesn’t induce an anxiety or panic attack.

So the Capricorn full moon is also going to be traveling through my third house (or my communications zone). This is the zone that deals with basically the people you see more or less on a day-to-day basis: friends, coworkers, and siblings. Also it reminds us that there is a to-do list that items that needed to be taken care of. Luckily, I can’t think of any major disagreements that I’ve had lately—I know that not everyone agrees with my idea of a “reboot break” but I’m going to do it anyway—I’ve decided that since I’m going to be 39 this year, it’s about damn time that I start putting myself first a few times.

So my goals for the Capricorn full moon period will include:

Continuing to work on my drafting my “reboot break” and also working on my transition plan to move from academia to industry.

Read (finish) at least one personal or professional development book.

Finish my second round of Country Heat.

Slow steps towards progress are better than trying to make running jumps and ending up falling behind on everything. I’m slowly figuring out ways of coping with my anxiety and stress, and as I continue to find better solutions to the triggers of both—I’ll continue to make more and more progress towards all of my other goals.

Motto for now: Progress not perfection.