So we’re heading into May’s full moon tonight, and it will also be a lunar eclipse as well—so now I need to decide if I’m staying up ‘late’ to head outside to try to see the eclipse or not.
Anyway, back to the May full moon and moving forward trying to find/define both my new ‘normal’ and what it is going to be looking like (mainly because the SARS-CoV2 virus is here to stay and that now means making rational decisions in terms of future travels).
The May full moon is going to be transitioning through Scorpio constellation. Therefore if one looks to ‘Moonology’ there are several questions that one can reflect on during the next few days, and they are:
- Have I been jealous, vengeful, suspicious, or otherwise behaved toxically?
- Have I been living out of fear rather than joy?
- Have I been brooding and dark: focusing on the negative rather than the positive?
- Have I been cruel and cunning?
- Am I having the sex I need to feel good about myself (of course some people need no sex at all to feel good about themselves)?
If I were to number the above questions 1-5, my answers would be as follows:
- I don’t think I’ve been acting jealous, vengeful or suspicious towards others (I mean we’re still dealing with the pandemic, and I’m hardly around anyone who isn’t family). I’m still working on ‘fixing’ internally focused ‘toxic’ habits (mainly letting my imposter syndrome/inner critic have the wheel and not realize it).
- Am I afraid of failure? Yes. Am I afraid of attempting something new (and possibly failing)? Yes. This is in part to the inner critic/imposter syndrome, but also in part to how I was raised—I was raised to ‘be better than average’ (though I know my parents meant only academically)—and it is a mindset that I’m working letting go.
- Have you seen the world lately?? I mean with all the damn problems going on—yes, I probably have been focusing a little too much on the negative rather than the positive (especially when I can’t control the events of the world). Therefore, I need to focus on what I can control, and what will hopefully bring more positive and less negative vibes to my life.
- No, I have not been cruel or cunning to others or myself.
- Again, the answer is no—mainly because 1) we’re still in the midst of the global pandemic, 2) therefore it really isn’t in good form trying to go out and meet new people, and 3) I’m still trying to figure out my life, which may (or may not) include at least one move in the near future. Therefore I’m not in the mindset/mood to deal with another person’s opinions/thoughts on my future right now.
The moon then also moved through my first house (or my Image zone), as I usually work with my rising sign (which happens to be Scorpio; my sun sign is Virgo & my moon sign is Pisces). This house/sign is focused on yourself (personal &/or professional life).
So I’m still going through ‘cycles’ of productivity—the past month or so, has been a so-so cycle of productivity, while the month before that was a little more productive. I realize that everything is cyclic in nature—what goes up, must come down—but I also know that I can ‘minimize’ the downward trend, and try to keep those ‘dips’ rather sharp, instead of a nice steep decline, and a slow incline. As I stated last year: ‘I will still avoid doing things I know I should be doing in order to move closer to certain goals. In other words—I’m still letting the inner critic/imposter syndrome keep me in the comfort zone more often than I try to venture out into the stretch or risk zones’.
So what are a few goals that I can work on over the next few weeks to help bring myself back towards all my other goals?
- Continue working on my 90-day content challenge plan (goal is to do some type of research & writing daily, in addition to a craft (photography, cross-stitching, or possibly designing some jewelry).
- Finish setting up my 12-month plan, and the rough draft for my personal/professional development plan
- Continue to try to meditate daily/nightly
And above all remember—Aim for progress and not for perfection.
What is one of your Scorpio goals?