Tag: PersonalMusings

Full Moon Goals: May Super Moon

So the May full moon was a couple of days ago—and it was also the last “super full moon” for 2020 as well (it was the milk super moon). As I’ve mentioned in several posts, I’ve realized that I’m not really handling this whole global pandemic as well as I thought I was—before it had been classified as a pandemic, I was a little more engaged in both personal & professional development, as well as trying to figure out what I was going to be doing with my life. Though last month, I really didn’t do a whole lot of that—there was some personal/professional development but not nearly as much as what I had been doing the month or two before hand. I’m going to try to get on top of the bad habits (which is mainly delaying doing something because I don’t feel like doing it currently—or having some other negative emotion attached to it) over the next month or so.

So while the notice has been given that things are opened—this girl is still going to be doing social isolation, mainly because I don’t believe that we’re actually over the hump of the pandemic. I won’t be surprised if there is a spike of cases daily/weekly throughout out the summer. If there aren’t spikes, that will be nice—but the virus will probably make a second showing in the fall.

So moving back to the full moon, this week it had transitioned in (and now out of) the Scorpio constellation. Since I’m doing social isolation—this is a good time to reflect on questions that we can ask during this time:

Have I been jealous, vengeful, suspicious, or otherwise behaved toxically?

Have I been living out of fear rather than joy?

Have I been brooding and dark: focusing on the negative rather than the positive?

Have I been cruel and cunning?

Am I having the sex I need to feel good about myself (of course some people need no sex at all to feel good about themselves)?

If I were to number the above questions 1-5, my answers would be as follows:

  1. I don’t think I have been acting jealous, vengeful, or suspicious of anyone. Currently I’m more in awe of people who seem to actually have their cards together and are moving forward (whereas I’m more of wondering if I’m going to have to play 56-card pick-up beforehand). But I will be honest that I have been acting somewhat toxic towards myself—mainly in that I’ve allowed myself to quit working out and have been eating way to much not-good-for-me food.
  2. Yeah, I would say that currently I probably have been living a little more out of fear than out of joy. This is in part due to the pandemic—I’m trying not to turn into a complete germophobe, and I would say that I’m currently holding at ~50% (so probably average for the current global pandemic).
  3. Again, I think this is a semi-yes and again based on the current world events. It is hard at times to find the silver lining in the clouds, when there are idiots running the show that are killing thousands of people a day.
  4. This is an easy one to answer—no I have not been cruel and cunning.
  5. This answer is also a no—but mainly because I’m not in a relationship with anyone. Currently I’m trying to get my own life in order and I’m not in the mindset to deal with someone else while trying to figure things out (the only beings I really want to have to take into account for figuring out my life are my pets and to a slightly less degree—my immediate family).

The moon then also moved through my first house (or my Image zone), as I usually work with my rising sign (which happens to be Scorpio; my sun sign is Virgo & my moon sign is Pisces). This house/sign is focused on yourself (personal &/or professional life).

I think that this transition came around at a good time this year—I’m not really focused on myself (in regards to really either my personal or professional life), and that is something that I need to work on changing. I’ve noticed over the last month, that I get really good at finding other things to do other than the one or two things I really should be doing—chores instead of doing professional development, re-reading a particular book series instead of reading through some personal development books. This is something that I really need focus and work on over then next couple of months. I’ve also realized that it also ties back to the fact that I’ve acknowledged the fact that I’m still stuck in the fear zone.

So what are a few goals that I can work on over the next few weeks to help bring myself back towards all my other goals?

            Reflect and actually decide what I would like to accomplish over say the next fifteen to twenty years (large goals and then develop ideas on breaking them down to smaller goals).

            Set up a new 12-month schedule/planner/idea—similar to what one can do during the Aries full/new moon (but doing this since I’ve started my “new” full-house cycle).

            Meditate daily/nightly

            Get back into a workout routine. I had been doing well with Morning Meltdown 100, so I will probably start this program back up—if I stick with it, I will finish it sometime in mid-August).

And above all remember—Aim for progress and not for perfection.

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Two Full Moon Goal Reviews–in One

So the moon will be entering the full moon phase over the next day or two (depending on where you live), and it will be the last super moon for 2020. I’ve realized that with the way my mood was last month—I didn’t post my review for my goals for the March full moon, and I didn’t post my goals for the April full moon. So I’ve decided that I would do a duel review—how I did with my goals for March, and what goals I would have set for last month (since I never really got around to finishing that post).

So in March, the moon was passing through the Virgo constellation (which if I go with my rising sign, it highlighted my 11th house or my friend zone). During this time I set only a few goals: meditating, trying to set up a daily schedule, and networking more effectively in terms of both job searching and trying to set up informational interviews.

In terms of how I felt I did with each one of them:

In terms of meditating nightly, I’m getting better at it. I’m trying to set aside time roughly around 9pm to sit and just “be”. This usually allows me to quiet my thoughts (or at least the ones I’m conscious of making) and slowly relax for the night. I am also trying to reframe negative thoughts (again at least the ones I’m conscious of making) into positive thoughts—though this has been a little more difficult during the pandemic.

            In terms of setting up a schedule—I think I do better when I have a to-do list with things broken down on that. As I haven’t really been planning out the past several weeks—I do like having to-do lists where I can check or mark something off as done.

            In terms of reaching out and networking more effectively—this is something that I’ve fallen down on the past month. This is mainly because I’m back to being somewhat indecisive of which direction I want to be going in terms of my industry transition. It seems that the guidelines are that companies want “experts” and not “jack-of-all-trades” in terms of knowledge areas. I’d be almost fine with that but once I feel like I’m an “expert”—I want to move on to something else, but if I’m a “jack-of-all-trades” and constantly learning on the job—I’m happy. So this is my sticking point—how to find something that will let me seem to be an “expert” while also being a “jack-of-all-trades”.

So I managed to start getting back on track for certain things (namely meditation), and realized that I’m still feeling slightly uncomfortable with a job transition that would require me to only show part of who I am (the “expert” side, and not the “jack-of-all-trades” side). I also realize that I like to-do lists better than schedules as the to-do lists can be done in any particular order and at any time of the day, and even possibly merged with another task as well.

Last month the moon passed through the Libra constellation (which is highlighted my 12th house, or my secret zone). It also had a couple of questions that allow for reflection. In terms of the questions:

1) Have I been too concerned with appearances in general?

            I’ve never been one that has kept up with the latest fashion. I’m usually happiest wearing nice comfortable clothing (jeans, leggings, sweatshirts, t-shirts, tank tops, sweats) instead of being dressed to the nines (I really don’t care for wearing nice clothes unless I absolutely have too). I do realize that moving forward with my job transition (either starting freelance and moving into industry or vice versa) I will need to start dress more “professionally”, and am actually in the planning stages of both reducing my wardrobe (because I’m pretty certain I don’t really “need” over 40 different t-shirts), and creating a basic multifunctional business wardrobe.

2) Have I been thinking too much about others and neglecting my own needs?

            This is a slightly difficult one to answer—my thoughts have been preoccupied with what is going on in the world (global pandemic caused by the SARS-CoV2 virus), and I probably have been neglecting my own needs over the past month mainly due to feeling really indifferent about everything.

3) Have I been too easily influenced, gullible, or unable to decide for myself?

            This depends on the topic—yes, I’ve been unable to decide which direction I want to go with my transition, but only because I’m uncertain of what I want to be showcased as an “expert” in and then what areas I want to be showcased as a “jack-of-all-trades” in. I am also feeling a little uncertain due to other things (mainly anxiety, stress, and depression—three things that while I haven’t been “officially” diagnosed—I know I suffer from them due to both family history, reading on the topics). All three can be treated without medication (if you feel like you have any of the three—anxiety, stress, or depression—I strongly urge you to talk to a medical professional), but it will take time and constant work.

4) Have I been living my life through someone else?

            Do fictional characters count?? Right now I truthfully have no idea of what I’m wanting from my life (career, where I live, relationship status, and so forth)—which is why I resigned from my job back in December and decided to take a reboot break. I did join an accountability group to help in the job search (which has given me several ideas to now pursue in terms of figuring things out). But truthfully—I’ve been living my life lately through fictional characters.

5) Have I spent enough time beautifying my life?

            Yes in a way I have—I’ve decluttered my room, got some new storage units, and finished my latest afghan. I’m going to be teaching myself how to cross-stitch over the next few weeks, and then also doodling and possibly ordering the supplies to turn one of the doodles into a painting (or maybe I’ll turn it into a cross-stitch pattern).

The Libra moon was also going through my 12th house (the secret zone), which is where we should try to take time for ourselves—meditating, yoga, or doing something else that allows us to find some balance in our lives.

I never actually made any goals for the Libra moon last month, but did try to continue with meditating nightly (and I usually managed about four to six nights out of the week). Basically what I need to do is make both a schedule and to-do lists so that I can become a little more productive than what I’ve been the last few (say four to seven) weeks. I know that I need to work on controlling how I react to the current world situation (I’ve let my anger, and disappointment in people control me and that had me off my routine for the past again four to seven weeks)—if I can just acknowledge that there are numerous ignorant, evil, greedy people in the world and that they’re the reason for the current situation, and that I’m doing all I can—I may actually be able to become somewhat productive again, as I enter week 8 (or possibly 9, or is it 12?) of the self-isolation period for dealing with the pandemic.

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