So for the past year or so on the job front, I’ve been extremely unhappy. I didn’t like the fact that I wasn’t being treated as a team player, just as someone who could do the work that other people got the credit for. So it was actually a blessing when I was told I was going to be getting laid off at the end of the summer (since I’d been debating for several months on whether or not I was going to be quitting at the end of the fall semester). Very few people appreciated what I did–others took it for granted that I’d always have everything up and running and could be in three different places at once. I now know that I need to make sure that with the next job I take I will actually be treated as one of the team and not as if I’m below everyone else. Everyone within an organization (faculty, staff, management, who ever) should all be treated with the same amount of respect and politeness.
I’ve allowed stress from work, the “non” push of people and everyday trails push me further and further from my health and fitness goals. By gaining more weight back, the negative nay-say mental voices are stronger than ever. Also I’ve allowed anxiety and depression to dull both the creativity and the relaxation that I find in simple things. The nay-say voices have also drowned out my intuition enough that I felt compelled to keep my verbal agreement of three years on this job–though I started to get unhappy about halfway through year two. But now I’m going to start listening to my intuition, get the yes-you can voices louder, find the beauty everyday, and realize that some paths may have to be reforged to get to where I should be.