So we’re heading into April’s full moon tonight, and it is also the second ‘super full moon’ (aka the pink super moon) of the year. I wrote in the ‘Libra Full Moon Review’ how I felt like everything was starting to ‘speed-up’ again after going so slow last year–but at the same time things are still in ‘slow-motion’. Everyone wants everything opened and back to ‘normal’–the only problem with that is that the old ‘normal’ is how we ended up in this damn global pandemic. Yes, there are vaccines against the SARS-CoV2 virus, but they only go so far in protection. I was talking with a friend last week and we were discussing ‘herd immunity’ and who knows what the actual percentage is and if we’ll ever reach it–the only reason why I say that is that it has been shown you can catch SARS-CoV2 again after having it (and it may end up being worse the second time around) and even if you have the vaccine–there is a small chance you can catch it still (and even a smaller chance that you could still possibly die from SARS-CoV2 related complications). I think that the virus is here to stay, and as a global society–we need to start figuring out a new ‘normal’.
Anyway, back to the April full moon and moving forward trying to find/define both my new ‘normal’ and what it is going to be looking like.
The April full moon is going to be transitioning through the Scorpio constellation. Therefore if one looks to the book ‘Moonology’ there are several questions that one can reflect on during the next few days, and they are:
Have I been jealous, vengeful, suspicious, or otherwise behaved toxically?
Have I been living out of fear rather than joy?
Have I been brooding and dark: focusing on the negative rather than the positive?
Have I been cruel and cunning?
Am I have the sex I need to feel good about myself (of course some people need no sex at all to feel good about themselves)?
If I were to number the above questions 1-5, my answers would be as follows:
- While I haven’t been acting jealous, vengeful, or suspicious towards anyone, I will admit to behaving slightly toxic towards myself. I realized last month, that I have been allowing the ‘bad habits’ of my inner critic/imposter syndrome to have full reign and I really didn’t get nearly as much accomplished as I would have liked. I realized that acknowledging my inner critic/imposter syndrome is the first step in dealing with them–I also need to actively work at dealing with the ‘bad habits’ that pop up whenever I feel/realize that I’m really stepping into the stretch/risk zones and out of the comfort zone.
- If I’m being totally honest–yes, I have been living out of fear rather than joy. This is tied into issues with my inner critic/imposter syndrome. Instead of figuring out ways of dealing with the various ‘problems’ as my mind makes them up, I allowed my inner critic/imposter syndrome to use them to reel me back into my comfort zone. Something again to work on this coming month.
- Well, again if I’m totally honest–I probably have been focusing a little too much on the negative rather than the positive. This is mainly due to the fact that I’m still trying to work out what I want to do moving forward. While I’ve semi-decided on possibly freelancing, remote, or contract work (or a mix of the three)–deciding on how to start is usually where all the negative thoughts creep in. Again, the problem has been acknowledged–I just need to start deciding on how to deal with the problems.
- No, I have not been cruel or cunning to others or myself.
- Again, the answer is no–mainly because 1) we’re still in the midst of a global pandemic, 2) therefore it really isn’t in good form trying to go out and meet new people, and 3) I’m still trying to figure out my life, which may (or may not) include at least one move in the near future. Therefore, I’m not in the mindset/mood to deal with another person’s opinions/thoughts on my future right now.
The moon then is also moving through my first house (or my Image zone), as I usually work with my rising sign (which happens to be Scorpio; as my sun sign is Virgo & my moon sign is Pisces). The first house (or Image zone) focus on you–your personal and/or professional life.
I realized that my moods, focus, and ability to really get numerous things accomplished goes through cycles (some months are more productive than others), and that I also fall into the habit of focusing on one thing over others (a habit that I’m working on breaking). Therefore, I’m actually going to focus on developing a good working plan (covering both personal and professional development) that I can actually stick with it. I’ve gotten a little better at ‘channel-switching’ during the day (going between computer and non-computer work), I will still avoid doing things that I know I should be doing in order to move closer to certain goals; also as nice weather stays–I need to work on the schedule on getting things done on the computer (either morning/night) instead of just sitting outside all afternoon. As I try to work on my inner critic/imposter syndrome, I’ve come up with a small list of goals that will also help me move back towards other goals. Those goals will include:
Finishing up 21-Day Fix Real Time and then starting 21-Day Fix Extreme Real Time
Spend more time reflecting and set at least one ‘long-term’ goal (personal or professional; bonus points if I can set one of each) that is at least 5-10 years down the road.
Then finishing setting up my 12-month plan (based semi off the ‘long-term goals’; plus this would also be finishing up the Aries new moon goal as well)
Continue to mediate daily/nightly
And above all remember as I continue through 2021–Aim for progress and not for perfection.